Maybe You Should Occasionally Look Down While Watching Fireworks

Maybe You Should Occasionally Look Down While Watching Fireworks

In a few days it will be July 4th, American Independence Day, and that reminded me of a story. I recently posted another story about friends I met through a local BBS. This is another tale from the BBS.

But first, I’m writing this on July 1st, which is Canada Day. A few of my few readers are Canadians. So I’d like to acknowledge them.

Happy Canada Day!

OK, back to this American tale. It was 1996 in Jacksonville, FL and the BBS was having a GT (Get Together) for July 4th. The GT was going to be at Huguenot Beach. My good friend, who’s nick was Robochef, called it “Hug My Nutz” Beach. He was always popping off little quips like this that made me laugh. The reason we picked this beach was because, unlike all the other beaches in the Jax area, this one allowed vehicles to drive on it. Another reason we chose it was because it was just north of where the St. Johns river emptied into the Atlantic Ocean and across the river was the Mayport Naval Station. The Naval Station had an excellent fireworks show on Independence Day and it would be a prime viewing spot from this beach.

We all got there early in the day so we could stake out some choice spots to park our vehicles closest to the river to see the show later that night. There were probably around 30 people from the BBS there. Some of my closest friends were the aforementioned Robochef, and Shye, Bullitt, Dixie, Renegade, Melissa, and Robbin who was the SYSOP (System Operator) of the board. Obviously, those names are a mixture of real and nicks. There was also a girl there who had just started logging on the board and her nick was Crycket. I mention her because she figures prominently in this tale.

Source: Mark Anderson www.andertoons.com

Once we had established our beachhead we proceeded to spend the day having fun. Socializing, swimming, and of course, that most honored American tradition, drinking. Thing was, while Hug My Nutz beach was unique in that you could drive on it, it had something in common with every other Jax area beach. NO ALCOHOL. Yeah, that wasn’t going to stop us. In the back of Bullitt’s truck we had a huge cooler full of beer and other assorted beverages that we covered up with a beach towel. We also had a big pack of the most appropriate containers in which to put our beer. The Red Solo Cup. There was always someone on watch for the beach cops riding their ATV’s. If one was heading in our direction the word would quickly get around and we’d either chug the rest of our drink or would fill our cups with the soda or water we also had around. This plan worked perfect until…

Several hours into the day we started hearing a bunch of screams from people in the water. No, it wasn’t Jaws, but a lot of people were running out of the ocean rubbing their legs and arms. A bloom of Jellyfish had moved into the area. Did you know it was called a bloom? I didn’t either, but Google did. Anyway, contrary to popular belief, peeing on a Jellyfish sting does nothing to relieve the pain. I knew that without Google (which was good because it didn’t exist then) and had to call off a dude who was ready to, shall we say, step up to the plate? For some reason all the victims, not only the BBS people but also others at the beach, started congregating around Bullitt’s truck. This caught the attention of the beach cops and they came to see what was going on. Of course, we quickly put operation Don’t Get Busted in to action and were alcohol free by the time they got there. When the cops saw what was going on they broke out these little medical packs that had some type of gel for dulling the sting pain. That was great for the stingees but the problem was for some reason they decided to set up a treatment station right there in the back of Bullitt’s truck and they were even sitting right on the cooler! Unbeknownst to them, there was illegal booze just mere inches from their butts the whole time they treated people. You can imagine this made us quite nervous but it also prevented us from drinking for the next few hours. Damn the Jellyfish!

It’s really amazing how many things in my life can be related to a Friends episode. Still trying to decide if this is pathetic or not.

After that little excitement, the Jellyfish moved on, the cops moved on, and we got back to celebrating. After a while the sun set and we all started gathering for the fireworks show. Now, quite a few of us had been drinking and we were all pretty toasty, but Crycket was hammered. As we all stood around waiting for it to get dark enough for the show to begin, Crycket could barely stand. So Robochef (who was a little sweet on her) lowered her to the sand so she could lay there and watch the fireworks. Minutes after that, the show began, and we all looked skyward. There were many utterances of “Oooosss” and “Ahhhhhhs” as the rockets burst in brilliance. The show lasted for a good twenty minutes and we all had our heads cranked upwards the whole time. The finale came with an explosion of a multitude of fireworks and colors and then it was over.

We started milling around a bit and chatting about the show when we noticed that it had gotten pretty dark with all the light from the fireworks now gone. We also noticed that we were now standing in water even though we hadn’t moved much from where we had gathered. Evidently, the tide had come in while we were watching the show and the ocean had crept up around us. That’s also when we finally noticed that Crycket was nowhere to be seen! We started screaming her name (or nick because most people didn’t know her real name) and ran around looking for her. A few of us were in the water splashing around when we ran into what felt like legs. Just then we were bathed in the headlights of Renegade’s truck, as he had drove it down to the edge of the beach to give us light. There in the water was the lower half of Crycket’s body. We couldn’t see the upper half of her body because it was under water and she was starting to float away! As we were watching the show, she had passed out and even the encroaching water as the tide came in had not awakened her. Oh God! We had let Crycket drown!

We quickly dragged her out of the ocean and sat her up on a towel. Robochef swatted her on the back a few times and she came to, spurting a little bit of seawater from her mouth. Then she looked at us and said, “When does this fireworks show start?” We were all so relieved that we collapsed on the sand, partly crying and partly laughing. She looked at us weird and even after she sobered up later and we told her what happened, I still don’t think she believed us.

So the morale of this story should probably be, don’t drink so much when you are at the beach watching fireworks. But I’m just going to say, where ever you plan to watch fireworks, just take a glimpse downward every so often. You might not want to have your head in the clouds all the time when precious things might be slipping away from you down here.

Not really Crycket. She was much prettier and not dressed so formally for a day at the beach.

BTW, Robochef and Crycket became an item, and years later married and had a child.

Share this shit y'all!

8 thoughts on “Maybe You Should Occasionally Look Down While Watching Fireworks

  1. It warms the cockles of wherever my cockles are–I may have left them on the beach somewhere–to read the term SYSOP. I was even briefly one myself on a board that was never active for more than a few hours, but that’s another story.
    Anyway I’m glad that the jellyfish didn’t cause too much trouble and that y’all didn’t get caught with your illicit booze. Although I bet the cops recognized the red Solo cups as the universal symbol of consumption and that’s why they set up shop on Bullitt’s digs.
    Christopher recently posted…A Matter Of Time.My Profile

    1. I’ve always wondered where/what cockles were. If you ever find them take a picture for me. I always entertained running a board myself but when I saw the expense and time it took Robbin to do it, my enthusiasm for the project ebbed somewhat. However, as I got to know Robbin better she delegated some of the administrative powers to me so I could help out from time to time. So I guess I kind of got to be a Jr. SYSOP.

  2. That was a cool story.

    (And I am very, very glad Crycket was ok. I had a bit of a nervous mum-friend moment when you lost her, but I remembered this was a blog post with a light-hearted tone and unlikely to end in tragedy)
    Lucy Grove-Jones recently posted…HolidayMy Profile

    1. Thank you. At the risk of making you nervous again let me add the part that I left out that almost did end in tragedy. I lived near the naval station that was on the south side of the river. There is a ferry that runs across that river that would have gotten me home in about 15 minutes. I say would have because we hung out for a while after the fireworks and recovering Crycket, and I neglected to check the ferry schedule. It had stopped running long before I left the beach, so I had to go inland to the closest bridge then make my way back home on the south side. All in all, about an hour trip instead of the short one. I was exhausted and about halfway through the drive I fell asleep at the wheel. Luckily the crunching of the tires through gravel and leaves woke me up before I crashed into a thicket of trees. I was able to come to a stop and get my shit together. After a few forceful slaps to the face, I made it home safely.

  3. Thanks for the Canadian shout out and for adding me to your cog list–very thankful!
    You are silly boys for leaving that poor girl in the sand like that. I’m glad the ending turned out. First I was concerned she went out with the tide never to be found. Then, I was worried when the car came with the headlights that she would be run over. Finally, I was worried you’d find a jelly in her mouth and then someone would try to pee all over her tongue. Basically, this was the absolute best case scenario on a worst case scenario set up.

    1. Two other thoughts… I clicked on the Don’t Click Here! button and had a good laugh. I can’t find the subscribe button either. I’ve tried 100 thousand times and it never ‘takes.’ Please help!

      1. Yup! The Rick Roll never gets old.

        I’ve been fighting with WordPress ever since the latest update. All kinds of things disappeared, including my e-mail subscribe widget. Are you telling me you don’t see a WordPress subscribe button? I still see it on mine but if it’s not working that will be something else I have to figure out. Why do they always have to “improve” shit? If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge