Holy shit snacks! I won a major award! No, it’s not a leg lamp. Nothing as fragelay as that.

It’s a Liebster Award! What’s a Liebster? Good question. Sounds close to lobster, which is funny because the person who nominated me for it can’t even eat lobster. It’s not a lobster though. Here, this might help explain.

The Liebster Award is an award that exists only on the internet and is given to bloggers by other bloggers. The earliest case of the award goes as far back as 2011. Liebster in German means sweetest, kindest, nicest, dearest, beloved, lovely, kind, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing, and welcome.

The award is a way to be discovered but also to connect and support the blogging community. A great idea in promoting your own blog and others. Originally it was given out to blogs with less than 2000 readers but this has slowly lowered as the reward has gained popularity. It is now only 200 readers or less. It’s really an arbitrary number. If you like helping other blogs out go ahead and do it regardless of its size.

Many thanks to Rivergirl at River’s World for nominating me! However, you may want to add a few words to that definition when talking about my blog. These come to mind; weirdest, rambling, non-sensible, and irrelevantest (spell checker says that’s not a word but I’m sticking to it). It’s nice to know that this small cog’s ravings have provided some form of entertainment.

I actually got an award similar to this before. Not a Liebster but a Chriester. But that’s another story and you’ll have to click on the link if you want to know more.

With this award comes a little homework. I have to answer five questions posed to me by Rivergirl, and boy, are they some good ones. This is the kind of homework I like. So let’s get started.

1.  You’re a pigeon newly arrived in Hollywood. Who do you poop on first?

I’m gonna poop on that dude who I met on the Hollywood Walk of Fame that promised to get me into the serious movie biz but ended up getting me into Pigeon Porn in the San Fernando Valley. No, the pooping isn’t part of the porn.

2.  Donald Trump has been impeached. Mike Pence has been trampled to death at a gay pride parade. Nancy Pelosi has resigned her position and run off to Tahiti with a member of BTS. You’ve been chosen to be the next President of the United States. What’s your first executive order?

I would order that every day your internet access would be blocked until you viewed a video of screaming goats. After watching that hilariousness, you might be more level headed before screaming on social media sites.

3.  The Brussels Sprout is a much maligned ( and extremely gassy ) cruciferous vegetable. You run a PR firm and have just been hired to tweak it’s image. Go!

“Brussel Sprouts! At least it’s not cauliflower.” Seriously, please stop with all the cauliflower recipes. It sucks! Here’s some news for you. Cauliflower pizza crust does NOT taste just as good as regular pizza crust.

4.  Your lifelong dream of being a stripper has come true. What’s your stage name?

This is an easy one. Magic Man Boobs! No further explanation needed and certainly no picture!

5.  Your cruise ship is sinking and you’ve scrambled onto a life raft only to realize it’s overloaded. What… or who… do you push overboard?  A case of craft beer, your significant other, the oars, a beloved pet wombat, or the ship’s navigator?

*Note – if you say beer or wombat, you are dead to me*

Well, this is going to take some careful examination. If you know my recent history, you’ll know I was diagnosed with a liver disease and I can’t drink alcohol anymore. So you might think it would be an easy choice for me to chunk the case of craft beer. You’d be wrong. While I certainly wouldn’t want to be dead to Rivergirl, I also used to be a beer connoisseur of the highest order. If it looked like we were not going to be rescued and were going to die anyway, I’d drink the beer! I’m not tossing my SO over of course. Being a former sailor myself, I know the ship’s navigator would probably be useless in this situation because they rely heavily on electronic navigation these days. So unless he/she/other had a sextant in their back pocket, I would consider chunking them overboard. But it’s a person so I’m not really ready to jump to murder just yet. The wombat I’m keeping because I’ll need something to eat (damn, guess I am dead to Rivergirl now). That only leaves the oars. Yup, over the side they go. Why? Because that would decrease our odds of being rescued and I could drink beer again!

So, now I have to nominate some bloggers of my own and ask them some questions. I’m going to nominate a mix of some of my faves and some new ones I’ve discovered recently:

Lucy Grove-Jones at Silence Killed The Dinosaurs. Lucy is such a talented cartoonist and each one of her illustrations speaks a thousand words on her posts. I really hope she accepts this award and answers my questions with cartoons!

Kristine Laco at Adulting in Progress. Kristine is a very talented writer that keeps me laughing with her posts and videos. She’s working on a book that I’ll be first in line to get signed.

Mona at Wayward Sparkles. I just recently discovered Mona’s blog. She loves to tell stories and I love to read them. That’s my jam. She is also a fellow native Texan and I gotta support my compadres.

Chase at Actual Conversations With My Husband. Chase chronicles the interesting, awkward, and down right hilarious conversations she has with her husband. She is awesome and would also be the first one to tell you so!

You four have been chosen for this mission. If you choose to accept it, post these rules:

1. Acknowledge the blog which nominated you.
2. Answer the questions your nominator asked.
3. Nominate two to six other bloggers who might appreciate the boost.
4. Ask them several unique questions.
5. Let them know you have nominated them.

Then answer these questions:

1. If you had no significant other and you had to date a cartoon character, who would it be and why?

2. Would you rather live in the mountains, by the ocean, or neither?

3. If Marty McFly and Doc Brown showed up in a time traveling Delorean and exclaimed that you HAD to go back and fix that! What would you think they were talking about? (I mean in your personal life. No killing Hitler, or bankrupting 1980’s Trump.)

4. What movie(s) when you are flipping through the TV channels and come across, do you have to immediately stop and watch no matter how many times you have seen them?

5. What is your favorite curse word(s)? (I got this question from a friend so it’s not exactly unique, but I’m asking it anyway because all kinds of hilarity usually ensues from this interrogative.)

I’d also like to give a shout out to my blogging brother from another mother, Christopher Waldrop at Freethinkers Anonymous. He certainly would be one of my nominees but he has received the award before (something you would already know if you clicked on the Chriester link above) and he doesn’t feel comfortable singling out other bloggers for fear of leaving someone out. Something that is totally understandable. Chris was one of the very first commenters on this small cog of a blog and made me feel very welcome to the blogosphere. He always seems to know how to get a laugh out of me even when he is commenting on my most depressing posts.

OK, so there you are. I hope I get some good responses from my nominees. And if I didn’t nominate you but you still want to answer those questions, go for it! I’d love to hear them.

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