Yes, this is a hiking story. Yes, River, it’s a long one. Much like my sex life, I store it up for a long time and then release it in one big bang! Unlike my sex life, this will last longer. You’ll notice I didn’t file this one under the Epic Trail Fails category. That’s because, other than a couple of falls and a much too close encounter with lightning, there was no fail. The Virginia Triple Crown of hiking are three iconic spots on the trail. Dragon’s Tooth, MacAfee Knob, and Tinker Cliffs are the three points of this crown. I set a goal to visit all three on one week long backpack on the Appalachian Trail and I succeeded in this goal! Let me rephrase that, we succeeded in this goal. My golden retriever, Finn, came along with me. He’s earned a trail name, Puddles, because he always goes out of his way to walk through each one. You’ll see.

Day 1

Michelle dropped us off on Monday morning at the trailhead about four miles from Dragon’s Tooth. The final few miles was on a road that could only be called that in the loosest sense of the word. No problem for our Jeep though! We said our good-byes and headed over a cool wooden suspended bridge. There was a spring in my step (and the bridge) as we set off up the trail. We hiked for a mile and stopped off at the first shelter so I could uhm, drop off the kiddies at the pool in the privy. With that business taken care of we got back to hiking. I swapped out Finn’s hiking leash with the long one that I usually hook him to when we are in camp for the night. I just let him drag it behind him and left him to do his own hike. He diverts a lot to check out smells on the side of the trail and when he is on the hiking leash he is always pulling me over and putting a cramp in my hiking style. So this way he does his own thing and I do mine. He never goes off for very long on his own and when he is in front of me he always stops to wait on the slow old man. The good thing with the long leash dragging behind him is if I need to get him under control for some reason, it’s not hard to run up to the end of the leash and stomp on it. The rules say you have to have your dog on a leash. It doesn’t say you have to hold it!

A few hours later we made it up to Dragon’s Tooth. It was amazing! A huge rock formation that looked like a giant pointy tooth. We hung out there for a bit, maybe too long, before taking off again. The campsite I wanted to stop at for the night was still several miles away but should have taken us only a couple of hours. That is, it looked like that on the map. What I failed to realize was the climb down from Dragon’s Tooth was a series of shear ledges! How do you think Finn navigated those? Not well, not well at all. He flat out refused to even try to come down them. I really can’t blame him. I had a hard enough time myself and I have opposable thumbs. In the end I had to remove his pack and mine at each ledge, then climb down myself, push my back up against the ledge so it was parallel to it, and have Finn run down my back! I wish there had been someone there to film it!

Because of the delay coming down the ledges we did not get to our camping spot until 7:30 PM. What was even worse was that we were very low on water and the only only water source was 0.5 miles down a steep side trail. That’s a mile round trip! We had no choice though, so off we went. So the water source? Yeah, it was a mud puddle. Probably the worse water source I have ever used on a hike. Didn’t have a choice though. We were getting seriously dehydrated. Also, no water = no hot meal, and I was all about having a hot meal that night. My water filter did a pretty good job of clearing it up, but boy did I have to backwash that thing for a long time after. Once we finally ate and got in the tent for the night it was around 10:00 which was way past hikers midnight.

DAY 2

Welcome to Day 2. I call this Badass Bovine Day. Why? You’ll find out. We got up and got all our things packed up and were out of camp by 7:45 AM. It was a nice hiking day for the most part. Lots of gentle downs and not too steep ups. We also came out a trailhead where the Catawba Grocery Store was located about 1.5 miles down the road. Totally worth the walk! We got fresh water, two Mountain Dews, and two huge slices of Hunt Brothers Pizza. We sat outside at some picnic tables with a few other hikers and got to know them while pigging out. The lady that ran the store loved Finn so much she gave him a free hotdog. We lingered for about an hour and a half before I finally picked my ass up and got back to hiking, but not before I got some more pizza and another Mountain Dew to pack out for dinner that night.

Now, up until this point I had not had a fall on the trail. That was about to change. The funny thing about this fall was not that it happened (that is usually a forgone conclusion on a hike), it’s where it happened. I had been up steep hills and down shear drops and not had one misstep. Where I took my first fall was on completely flat terrain! I guess I got careless when the ground was flat and didn’t watch where I was going. It hurt a bit but wasn’t too bad. You’ll see my point of view on the video, if you watch it.

A little while later we came to some cow pastures that the trail crossed. Know what’s in cow pastures? You guessed it! Cows! The trail passes through some private land and these spots had gates to keep the cows in. As we got close to the first cow pasture gate we could see a whole herd of them hanging close around under the shade of a few trees. You’ll also see this on the video but the points of view get a little Blair Witchy for reasons that will soon become obvious. We went through the gate and of course Finn made a beeline to the cows. I had a hold of his leash to prevent this but the gate passage is very narrow and my pack got caught up in it. While I was trying to shake it loose, Finn took advantage of this situation and was able to pull some of the excess leash out of my hand. He didn’t run at the cows, just walked up to them to say Hi. Most of the cows said Hi back but there was this one heifer that was having none of that and charged Finn. I was able to pull him back and I screamed at the cow to back off. We gave them a wide berth but that same cow tried to charge us a few more times. I yelled at it some more and it finally backed off.

We then crossed through some beautiful, but hot, pastures. The first two were nicely rolling hills. The last one was straight up the side of a mountain. I don’t know how the cows didn’t fall over when they were grazing. It was a grueling climb in the hot sun and all I could do was focus on the little dot of trees at the end where the shade I desired so desperately was located. We finally got there and I was rewarded with, more up! We finally got up on top of the mountain and were really rewarded this time with a nice trail along the ridgeline. Since we had gotten in to camp so late last night, Finn suggested we stop around 4:00 PM and enjoy a little camp life before going to sleep for the night. I thought that was a fine suggestion and we did just that, stopping at a little stealth site right next to the trail on a flat spot along the ridgeline. It was a beautiful spot. We rested for a bit and then I put the tent up. Not 15 minutes later it started raining like a MF’er! We retreated into the tent to wait it out. Then the hail came. Know what doesn’t react well to jagged balls of ice slamming into them? Well a man and a dog for one, but we were in the tent. Tent, yeah it was the tent that didn’t react well. More specifically the rain fly above the tent that was supposed to keep us dry, and, up until that point, had been doing a very good job. That is until the hail started making holes in the fly where water shortly followed. We did our best to stuff plastic bags and my rain coat under the leaky spots, but we got pretty wet. Luckily, the storm only lasted for about an hour. I was able to clean everything out and then let it dry while I ate my cold pizza dinner. It was fantastic! The rain fly was a mess but it didn’t rain the rest of the night, bonus! However, I was now going to have to plan shelter stops in case it rained (and it did) on the nights to come.

DAY 3

We didn’t make a lot of miles on this day for a couple of reasons. One, I was feeling really run down and moving like a sloth. Two, I had a plan to stop at a certain spot so I could do something early the next day. You’ll find out. We slothed our way down and up a few mountains. Our water supply was getting low and the next source was at a shelter on a steep side trail a few miles away. I was not looking forward to that trip. Do you believe in angels and magic? I do, because we came out at the trailhead before MacAfee Knob and some kind trail angel had left trail magic in the form of several gallon jugs of water! We were able to refill all our bottles and now we wouldn’t have to make that sideway miles trip. That boosted my spirit but my body was still not co-operating very well. I was still hiking at a snail’s pace. We had lunch at one shelter then hiked to the next one. Just as we got there the sky opened up and we quickly hopped up in the shelter to get out of the elements. It didn’t really matter anyway. This is where I had planned to stay for a specific reason. It was only 1.7 miles from MacAfee Knob. MacAfee Knob is known as the most photographed spot on the AT. I’d actually been here twice before on day hikes. There is a jutting out rock over a valley that gives the spot it’s moniker. I had always wanted to see the sunrise from this spot, so that was the plan. Get up early and hike up there for the event.

We had gotten to the shelter at 3:00 PM, so we were the only ones there. Over the next several hours members of a huge Tramily also converged on the shelter with the same plans as ours. What’s a Tramily you ask? The term is a mash up of Trail and Family, and it refers to thru-hikers that met on the trail and hike together. Normally, there is anywhere from two to six people in a Tramily. This one had ten hikers in it! They called themselves The Bunkhouse Baddies. I just called them The Big Ass Tramily. Most of them where in their early twenties with a thirty year old thrown in. They were really nice and were not trouble makers, but it made for interesting sleeping arrangements when the first five of them to arrive got in the shelter with us. We had to cram six people and one dog in for the night. Normally, in a situation like this, I would volunteer to leave the shelter and tent camp, but with a torn rain fly and storms forecasted through the night, there was no way I was leaving those dry confines. Except for one incident in the middle of the night when Finn knocked down the shelter broom on my head, it went pretty well. We all got up at 4:00 in the morning so we could be packed up and on MacAfee knob by sunrise. Well, when I say “got up” I mean I opened my eyes, raised my head, and saw it was raining. No way was there going to be an observable sunrise in this weather. I declared my intention to bail on the plan and went back to sleep. When I woke again a couple hours later, everyone but the thirty year old was gone. He had assessed the situation the same as I had. It wasn’t raining anymore but it was really foggy. The other guy packed up and left. We followed shortly after.

When Finn and I got up to MacAfee Knob it was totally socked in (fogged in). I had been feeling guilty about not going earlier but now I knew I had made the right decision. There was no way anyone had seen a sunrise from here. Finn and I ate a quick breakfast and continued up the trail. The next few hours were spent hiking through some beautiful scenery. The trail wound through big rocks with twist and turns that reminded me of The Lord Of The Rings. It was really fun walking through them. Fun, that is, until the maelstrom hit. I could see some very dark clouds on the horizon with streaks of lightning running from them, and they were coming our way! We were on a ridgeline which is not the best place to be during a thunderstorm. We tried to rush to get down from that elevation but the storm overtook us and we ended up taking shelter under a rock slab that jutted out a bit and would provide some protection. You’ll see it on the video so I’ll keep the description short here. The storm swept down upon us with loud thunder and brilliant strikes of lighting. Finn is not a fan of thunderstorms and dug a hole at the back of the rock formation to get even further away. I crawled in after him as far as I could to ride it out. Then it happened. A bright flash, a crashing boom, and I felt an electrical charge traveling up and down my legs! The lightning had struck so close that the metal bands in my knee braces had conducted the electricity into my legs, making them involuntarily jump around. Oh yeah, it hurt too. Once I realized what happened, I took the braces off and flung them out from under the rock. We cowered there for a little while longer, all the time wondering if another strike would finish us off. Eventually the storm moved on and we were still among the living.

A few hours later we made it to Tinkers Cliff, the final point in the Triple Crown. We caught a break, as in there was a break in the cloud cover and the view from the cliffs was spectacular! I’d even go as far to say it was a better view than MacAfee Knob. It was one cliff after another, with view upon breathtaking view. That last cliff had a very interesting bird sitting on one of the rocks. He was big and had a sharp beak. I wasn’t sure what kind of bird it was but now I think it was a hawk. I chatted with the hawk a bit and then we hiked the final stretch down to the next shelter. At the shelter there were a few more section hikers like us. A mom and son team, and a dad and son team. They were all cool and we had a good time chatting. Later on a girl with the trail name of Incline came in. She was a SOBO (south bound) thru-hiker. I pumped her for trail info north of here and was glad to hear her say that the climbs I would make the next day into town were not too bad. At hikers midnight we all turned in and for the first time I left Finn off leash for the whole night. He didn’t even want to be in the shelter that night. He settled down in front of the picnic table in front and took up the bear watch. At 3:00 AM we all came awake to his barking. He was alerting us to an impending incursion. It wasn’t an ursine incursion, it was a couple of guys that were night hiking and stopped to get water at the source near the shelter. After calming Finn down we slept the rest of the night undisturbed.

DAY 5

We were up and raring to go the next morning. It was town day and the fact we had a favorable trail condition report had us happy as clams. That was until a couple of miles later when I set my right foot down on top of a slanted rock slab that was wet. My foot slipped out from under me and all I saw was view of sky/ground/sky/ground/blackness as I tumbled down the slope ricocheting from one rock to the next until I came down hard on my right side and head. This one hurt pretty damn bad. I was dazed and my head was swimming in the murky depths for about five minutes before I regained my senses. Finn, who had made it down unmolested, stood guard by me the whole time. When I finally managed to right myself, my side was smarting and if I twisted a certain way, would shoot firebolts through my body. I still managed to hike on though, determined to shrug it off. Several miles later I couldn’t ignore the pain from my ribs anymore. They were at least bruised if not cracked. I stopped at a formation called Hay Rock where a huge rock juts out right over the trail. I popped a couple of pain killers, took out my sleeping mat, and had an hour nap under that rock so the pills could do their work. When I woke, the pain was somewhat abated and we hiked on. The last four miles were thankfully mostly a gentle downhill, and we cruised in to town. But not before Puddles had one last dip in a river just outside of town.

On all my hikes, this was the first one I had ever ended by walking into a town. It felt really good, not only because I was soon to be smashing pizza and sleeping in a real bed, but because we had accomplished our goal from start to finish, not letting anything take us off the trail earlier than we planned. We walked the short distance to the Howard Johnsons were I had booked a room a few hours earlier when I got a couple bars of service on the trail. This Howard Johnsons was a fleabag motel, but to a hiker and his faithful companion that had been on the trail five days, it might as well have been five star accommodations. Once in the room, we wasted no time shrugging off our packs, cranking the A/C to igloo temp, and putting our sore feet and paws up. A short time later I managed to summon enough energy to pick up my phone and order some pizza. I had intended on getting copious amounts of Mountain Dew but the pizza place only had Coke products, damn it! I still got a two liter of Orange Crush. While the order was being made, I drug my stinky, dirty ass into the shower. You do NOT want me to describe what the bottom of that shower looked like when I was done. Just as I finished toweling off, the pizza and soda was delivered. I didn’t even bother pouring myself some of the soda. I just popped the top and drank it like it was a sixteen ounce and not the two liter it was. Finn and I feasted. Then we got on the bed, looked at a few of the pictures and videos we had shot, then fell into a food coma, not to emerge until 9:00 AM the next day.

DAY 6 (ZERO DAY)

A zero day is a day you hike no miles on the trail. On the trail being the operative part of that sentence. There were still some miles to hike around town to get chores done. Luckily, everything in Daleville was pretty close together and I wouldn’t have to walk too far. Due to the fact that Michelle had a tattoo session scheduled that day in the town where the LeeLander was landed, I would have to wait until later in the evening before she would be able to pick me up. We were not a hundred percent sure her session would be done in time for her to drive the two hours up to get me. With that in mind, I had booked the hotel room for an additional night. I went about doing some chores which involved a stop at the outfitters to get Finn a new water bowl, a grocery trip to Kroger to mostly get some OJ, Mountain Dew, and Beer! Don’t worry it was the Bud Zero fake beer with absolutely no alcohol in it. I had to have some though, because it did not feel right to end a hike without a celebratory beer, even if it was fake, and there was some poetic justice to it since it was a Bud Zero on a Zero day. I then walked over to Wendy’s to get some lunch for me and Finn who was waiting back at the motel for me. Believe it or not, this Wendy’s had their dining room still closed for COVID and only the drive-thru was open. But alas, they would not serve walk up customers at the drive-thru! I came to find out that every fast food place in Daleville was this way.

On my (hungry) walk back to the motel a woman and man pulled over and asked me if I was a hiker. I guess the backpack full of groceries tipped them off. When I indicated I was, they offered me a drive back to the motel. The guy was actually a thru-hiker that was taking a zero also and his wife had driven up to see him. They were staying at another motel but were happy to drop me off at mine. I love hikers! Once back in the room I used Uber Eats to order us a small meal from McDonalds. I didn’t want to get filled up because I had plans for dinner that involved a highly recommended BBQ place called Three Little Pigs. I was hoping Michelle would make it tonight so we could both go. With the order made, I laid back on the bed and drifted off to sleep. When I awoke two hour later I was horrified to see the time! I was even more horrified when I looked at my phone and saw the message from Uber Eats that said they didn’t have enough drivers and cancelled my order. Now we were starving but didn’t want to go to any big restaurant that would fill us up. I ended up calling around to the fast food places and finally found a Hardee’s that were letting people into the dining room as long as they were getting to go orders. So back out for another hike and this time Finn came with. A three mile round trip later we were back and I was enjoying a San Francisco Sour Dough burger and Finn was feasting on chicken strips.

I got a message from Michelle telling me her tattoo was taking longer than expected and she probably wouldn’t be there until the next day. Then fifteen minutes later there was a knock at the door and it was her! That sneaky little biatch! I showed her all my pics and vids, and when we were done with that we went to Three Little Pigs and smashed the hell out of some BBQ (but not any ribs for some reason). It was soooooooo good! Then we headed back to the LeeLander and our VA Triple Crown backpacking trip was over. One of the best times I’ve ever had!

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