Just weird stuff I think about.
No, I didn’t spell that wrong. It’s an acronym that stands for Long Island Iced Tea. A more accurate title would be Let’s NOT Get LIIT Ever Again! Tanya, from The Incurable Dreamer, recently made a comment on one of my posts that mentioned LIIT, and that got me thinking about a good story. I can already hear you thinking, “What did you do Ari?” I can’t blame you for that. Usually I am the one front and center (read guilty) in…
This is really a retarded story. I don’t know why I am telling it. It’s just been stuck in my head this week because something (I think it might be the below commercial) reminded me of it. I was around 9 or so and in this particular case (there were others) my forbidden item was not quite as destructive as the ones in this commercial. They were a pair of moccasins, or what my child brain considered to be moccasins. Pictures might…
A couple years ago I tore the retina in my left eye. It’s a whole thing that really doesn’t have a humorous note. Unless you count the fact that after the surgery I was required to stare at my feet for six weeks and had to sit in one of those massage chairs and drink my beer from a straw because I couldn’t tilt my head back. I’m counting that. In the year after the initial surgery I had to have…
It seems like every morning when I flip on the news as I am getting ready for work, the anchor is telling me it is National Something Day. This morning I was duly informed that it was National Take Your Daughter and Sons to Work Day. Well, my daughter and sons live many miles away, are in their 20’s, and have jobs of their own. So, I don’t think I’ll be observing this one. However, it got me to thinking. …
Prepare yourself. This next statement is going to be profound. There are two types of people in this world. Those who roll the toilet paper from the top and those who roll it from the bottom. (There are actually two other types. Those that love the movie Napoleon Dynamite and those that loath it. Where have I heard this before? For now, just pretend there are only two types.) I think my preference is abundantly clear from the following tweet: I’m…
I spent the last weekend on an Appalachian Trail backpacking trip with my hiking partner, Sawyer, The Trail Wonder Dog. While we were lying in our two man one man/one dog tent in the dead of the night, all alone in the wilderness, I remembered a story about the time I went camping a few years ago with my sons and thought it would be a good blog topic. Then I got slightly distracted when I heard about 42 coyotes (not even sure they…
OK, it’s not really a 100 years old. It’s only 14 years old. What in the hell am I talking about? Why it’s this one can of beer I’ve had in my fridge that whole time. I’m sure a few questions leap to mind. Why do you have a 14 year old beer in your fridge? Why do you call it a 100 year old beer? What do you plan to do with this can of beer? Are you retarded…
Today I completed my 49th solar orbit. Now I’m starting out on the big FIVE-OH trip. Normally I want these orbits to seem like they last as long as possible. However, this year I am kind of looking forward to getting this one over with quickly. Why would I want a year of my life to go by quicker? I’m anxious to get out of my 40’s, that’s why. When I was in my 20’s I was young but I…
Last Christmas, my wife gave me a book called 642 THINGS TO WRITE ABOUT. That was thoughtful of her since she knows I like to pretend to be a writer. So, of course, I placed it on a bookshelf and promptly forgot about it, which was quite thoughtless on my part. Fast forward to now, which is almost a year later. I saw the book sitting on the table along with several other items that my wife had planned to…
If you haven’t already figured it out by the title, I’m going to get a little dirty in this post. So if that’s not your thing, now would be a good time to hit the cat videos on You Tube. Still here? Yea I thought so. Continuing on… I have the ability to see/hear something dirty in just about anything I encounter. When I’m listening to music I often find myself involuntarily replacing the lyrics to make them dirty. Take…