Would it surprise you to find out I stabbed a person? It’s true. I did. I’m not proud of it but I can’t deny it happened. No, I didn’t impale him on a samurai sword after he brutally raped and sodomized another guy. My choice of weapon wasn’t quite as lethal, but it did pack a punch, or shoud I say puncture? Maybe I should give you a little context here. I was a sophomore in high school (that’s grade…
Remember back a couple of years ago when I started a petition to move Halloween to the last Saturday of October? Well, the people at the Halloween & Costume Association have stolen my idea and started a petition of their own! They only started their petition last year, so mine was first. That’s all the evidence I need. They stole it! To be fair, my petition did not gain much traction. I garnered a whole whopping four signatures. All of…
When I was a child my parents had a subscription to those Reader’s Digest magazines. Remember those? They were little book sized magazines with all types of articles in them. They always ended up on a shelf next to the toilet in our bathroom. So while I did my business, I would often leaf through them. Most of the articles didn’t interest me but some of the stories did. Of particular interest to me was the section called Humor in…
In a few days it will be July 4th, American Independence Day, and that reminded me of a story. I recently posted another story about friends I met through a local BBS. This is another tale from the BBS. But first, I’m writing this on July 1st, which is Canada Day. A few of my few readers are Canadians. So I’d like to acknowledge them. OK, back to this American tale. It was 1996 in Jacksonville, FL and the BBS…
For the backstory on this series of posts see here. It’s been awhile since I’ve done one of these. As a matter of fact it’s been over two years. Just a bit overdue don’t you think? OK, here we go… Describe in detail an everyday object – a piece of fruit, a water bottle, or your beat-up old wallet. The wallet one immediately caught my attention. Here’s a preview of what you can expect… The current wallet I carry is…
For this one you are going to have to think back to a certain time. A time when there were no cell phones with cameras on them. A time when there were no digital cameras at all, even the ones in which you inserted a 3.5″ floppy disk. Back to the time when you actually had to take the film from the camera to a photo shop to have it developed. You remember? Good. All the millennials will have to…
I’m back! Did you miss me? I’ve been MIA for a while but this time it wasn’t my fault. I swear! Back in March I suffered a detached retina in my right eye. This is not my first rodeo with that particular condition, as several years ago the same thing happened in my left eye. This time the tear in the retina wasn’t quite as bad as the last time so the doctor wanted to try an in office procedure…
I figured I’d drop a few lines and give you an update on the ongoing saga that is my health. It’s confirmed now. Meine Leber ist kaputt. That’s German for my liver is broken. I’m not sure why I said it in German. I guess I thought it sounded more ominous that way. Most things do sound ominous in German. For example, Ich liebe Welpen. Now doesn’t that sound ominous? Know what it means? I love puppies. See what I’m…
I’ve hit a bit of a writer’s block here. I’ve got like eleventybillion (just an estimate) unfinished drafts that I can’t seem to complete. Usually when this happens I go to my fall back 642 things to write about series, but I can’t even get the ball rolling on one of those. My recent health issues have consumed a lot of my time and have also scrambled my brain somewhat. So I’ve decided to take the lazy way out. I’ve…
Getting a colonoscopy is easy. Prepping for one, not so much. I spent the day after Christmas doing what I call “studying” for it. The course of study went a little something like this. Wake up the day before the anal invasion and eat…nothing. No solid food whatsoever is allowed. You can drink clear liquids like water, soda, and Gatorade. No red or purple Gatorade though. Of course, red is my favorite and I had a ton of these in…